Did you hear the news? Insane right? Which news am I talking about? Any! All of it. Every second of every day, any and all news that comes out is frigginā INSANE! It never stops and it's all horrible. I miss the good old days, like when Kanye just liked Hitler, but wasn't selling tee shirts. Or when Elon just took over Twitter but not yet the United States of America. When Trump was just extorting Ukraine and not handing it over to Putin on a silver platter. When the only baby in the office was Trump, now itās Elonās baby, X Ć A-12. Elonās two babies. He might want to keep his kid away from Trump, or he could turn out like Don Dumb Dumb junior. Oh God, did I just jinx us with a future Jr. and Jr. 2030 ticket? Just kidding! There won't be any more elections.
Nothing left to do but laugh. I do remember laughing once this week. What was it? I know it happened. I definitely laughed, because I thought to myself, Oh MY God Iām laughing. I got it! My puppy brought home a binky sheād found at the dog park. Cracking us up. Seriously, the only thing cuter than a baby with a binky, is a puppy with a binky. I can't, she is so cute! Look at her!!
I meanā¦
Everything is kinda funny. (like crying on the inside ha ha funny). Let's get into itā¦
Useless Thoughts
ELON MUSK changed his Twitter handle to Hairy Balls. Because if you havenāt noticed he has the personality of Beavis or Butthead. The rest of the wack pack should follow suit.
Here are some suggestionsā¦
Robert Kennedy Jr. - Odd Ball
Kash Patel- Sleaze Ball
Donald Trump - Butter Ball
Don Jr.- Eight Ball
Pete Hegseth - Fire Ball
Oh man, what Iād give to kick them all in their sweaty balls!
THE SUPER BOWL. My thoughtsā¦Boring game. The Eagles were incredible. Didn't like Taylor getting Booed by the useless Eagles fans. Hated that Trump tweeted about her, itās so creepy. Didn't enjoy Kendrick Lamar. But Iāve heard that many people loved it. I had to ask my son, was that four different songs, or just one long one? It's hard to tell because there's literally no melody, no chord changes? The commercials stunk. All celebs but no comedy. So odd. I felt bad for the Chiefs and happy for the Eagles.
But ultimately KANYE ruined the rest of the night and days to follow. He can be a sociopath all he wants. The upsetting part is that he still has fans? The irony that he would sell hate during the Super Bowl? Meanwhile these athletes work so damn hard all year to play the game of their lives, and Kanyeās just this loser in the corner selling hate? Like that's it. No hard work. No talent. Zero creativity. How are 20 million people still following him? So bazaar!
Speaking of football, KYLIE KELCE, Jason Kelceās wife, sat with Alex Cooper of Call Her Daddy and proved you can be super-duper famous and be a normal good person. Sheās so real and would be the perfect sister-in-law for Taylor Swift. Sheās a straight shooter, sheās not looking for the camera, she doesn't care about all the bullshit, sheās literally the opposite of BLAKE LIVELY, or as I call her Blake Trump Reynolds, who uses, threatens, blackmails, and is a pathological liar. THANK GOD Taylor is done with Blake Trump. Normally I wouldn't care who Taylor Swift is friends with. I mean, Iām not in highs school, (even though I can act like it, not going lie, inside, I feel 16 years old) but Taylor is such an incredible humanitarian, who constantly gives back and we need that now more than ever. Which reminds me of a quote:
Words have less substance than air. Donāt tell me about your zealous dreams, your firm convictions, your profound loveāshow me.
ā Richelle E. Goodrich
Talk about humanitarians, MILLIE BOBBY BROWN, a HUGE star, has chosen to live her private life, privately. Sheās not out shopping every day, calling the paparazzi, showing off her closet filled with over-priced designer bags, but instead she and hubby Jake Bongiove are quietly living on a farm in rural Georgia. She told Vanity Fair, she and Jake shovel a lot of crap, literally. They get their hands dirty as they tend to their sheep, goats, cows, donkeys and their dog. She said, āI'm doing it because I love it.ā She loves animals so much that sheās taking veterinary classes to help them. āIām able to treat wounds, etc. I just have to do my internship, which is like sitting in on surgeries. Adoption campaigns on social media are wonderful temporarily, but you really have to get in there and do the work to make a difference.ā Love this! Love her! Another mega star that gives me hope in humanity and is thankfully the complete opposite of Blake Trump Reynolds and so many celebs that just post their useless bullshit! Get your hands dirty! Yes Queen! š
Yes you areā¦so good!
And Finallyā¦
SEVERANCE! Are you watching? Love! No, I'm not one of those people who can keep up with all the clues and easter eggs, I use TikTok for that. For some reason my algorithm on TikTok has just four things; soldiers coming home and surprising their families. Iāve been crying for days watching these videos, you know the ones with the song, A Thousand Years, š¼ āI have died every day waiting for you.āš¶ Next, the videos of relatives coming into a hospital room to meet the new baby, and finding out the baby was named after them! Omg! So good! The love is overwhelming and just what I need!š„² Obviously the endless clips of Snake Lively yapping nonstop about how she wants to take over everyoneās job and ruin lives. And then finally, the Severance detectives. The incredible fans explain everything to me. So much goes right over my head! I can't keep up and these folks break it all down so well. You know when youāre watching a show and they offer you a recap, and usually youāre like, skipā¦.not with Severance. I hit YES PLEASE every time! Such a fun show. Such a great escape. I wonder if my innie would be as sarcastic as my outie? If my innie would hate wearing a bra, socializing, beer and Marjorie Taylor Green?
Watch Severance (AppleTV+)
Mr. Milkshakeās twitter handleā¦Disco Ball?
Until next time folks! This outtie is staying innie all cozy!
Andā¦Sorry you canāt unread this!
I was so looking forward to the Billy Crystal/Meg Ryan commercial, but it was all given away days before. I thought for sure they would incorporate the mayo as āon the sideā. Like how Sally loved everything on the side, but nope.