😎 Make America Not So Cringe

Jul 04, 2025

Happy July 4th! What y'all doing today? Beach? Barbecue? Fireworks? No. No. and Yes!

Unfortunately, my body is still not summer ready to share. I need to lose like 15 pounds. I should really go on Ozempic, but I like food. I like to eat. I like sitting in front of the television and stuffing my face. Plus, I totally know I’d lose all the weight in my face, leaving my skin hanging, and God forbid I ever lose it in my boobs. That would be like 30 pounds right there. My fucking tits! I would love to get rid of them, but that would entail an operation. Me no like!

But there is one other option for all of the above...I could learn to love myself! I see all the memes about it all the time; Accept yourself! Treat yourself! Love yourself! Fall in love with you!

The problem is, I’m not really my type.

They say as you get older and look for love, you need to throw out types and just choose kindness! Whoa! I’m kind! And sarcastic, silly, and love lakes over oceans, and Curb Your Enthusiasm, Steve Martin, Rome, nature, long walks on trails, long phone calls with friends. Friends! I love reruns and appreciate Joni Mitchell but looooove Carly Simon.

Wait a minute! I don’t sound so bad after all. I guess I could fall in love with me, especially me standing in front of an all you can eat buffet! Get on top of me, me!!

But it’s not all about me, let's get into it…

Useless Thoughts

The Big Beautiful Bill passed, and MIKE JOHNSON signed it while “YMCA,” the song, literally blasted filling the senate floor with hypocrisy. Ironically YMCA is an organization with its principle of inclusiveness, welcoming people from diverse backgrounds and promoting social and economic equality. The opposite of everything in this bill, and probably the place that ICE will raid next. I don't know what to say? I’m sorry to the millions who will lose health care, the deaths, all the hospitals that will close, the loss of so many jobs, and most likely the shutting down of all YMCAs. #hypocrisy

Speaking of ICE. While this bill was all going down, TRUMP was visiting Alligator Alcatraz. This might be a first, where an American President is photographed smiling while inspecting a prison for fruit sellers, landscapers, farmers, etc. More hypocrisy. Here’s an idea, how about arresting the criminal rapists and murderers, and leave the single moms selling bananas and everyone else who is just trying to live alone. Let them be. Which reminds me of a quote from The Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

— Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingston and Roger Sherman

Speaking of happiness, fans of DIDDY were elated outside the courtroom that wife beater, psycho Sean Combs was found not guilty on racketeering charges, etc. And just like the way Mike Johnson was bopping his head to the tune by the Village People, Diddy’s fans were pouring baby oil all over themselves in celebration. That’s not a joke. This happened. Americans are so embarrassing no matter where you’re looking, whether the senate floor, or outside the Diddy trial. We need a new slogan. Make America Not So Cringe!

And Finally…

I have a love-hate relationship with fireworks. I love watching them, especially the way the husband and I do it. We sneak on to a country club’s golf course, put down a blanket and watch the show, just us. So romantic and so cool. But I hate it for the animals. Wildlife doesn’t understand and my dogs, and your dogs don't understand. It’s so traumatizing. And this is what sucks about being me, and why I’m really not in love with me. And it’s not just my thighs. I also come with a big bag of worry. And it sucks!

I can’t NOT think about the animals, the voiceless. I can't NOT think about the immigrants. I can't NOT think! I wish I could be like Kate Hudson, who just today, while the ugly bill passed, and Alligator Alcatraz was being built, posted on Instagram her luxurious glorious vacation pics without a care in the world. I’m jealous of her oblivious freedom of not caring, not her vacation. When I say I love my bed, I’m not lying. I literally want to sleep in my bed every single night of my life, and am exactly where I want to be, home. And that’s my point. I have a place to call home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful as hell to be born in America. Thank goodness! I love America. I want to give America a big wet kiss, (if I were into kissing, which I am not, ew gross, dirty mouths, yuck, throw up, I can’t believe I once made out with strangers, vomit). I just wish America stood for helping the vulnerable. Period. Full stop. You still can be rich af! You still can be middle class. You still can be living paycheck to paycheck. But wouldn’t we all sleep better knowing everyone was fed, had access to doctors, school and a roof over their head? (Does not have to be a big roof, just a roof) I promise you the money that’s allotted for just that, is such a tiny itty bitty fraction, you wouldn't even notice. What do you say? Yes?!