😎 Give Me the Pain Shot Now!

Jun 27, 2025

Sliding Doors. Have you ever seen it? An indie film starring Gwyneth Paltrow? If not you should, it’s quite good! The film alternates between two storylines showing two paths that the central character’s life could take depending on whether she catches a train or not. Similar to the butterfly effect trend all the kids are talking about on TikTok, how small changes in a complex system can lead to large, unpredictable differences in the future. Like if you hadn't picked a certain restaurant, you then wouldn't have met your future boyfriend, now husband, had kids, and so on.

So like Sliding Doors and the butterfly effect, what would America look like had Hillary Clinton won the 2016 election? My guess? No cults! We’d be working on America's health care, education, feeding children, women would still have the right to choose, fixing the border with dignity and continuing work on global warming and saving the planet. The Republican’s would def fight back like they always have, but it would be normal fighting and not the new extremes.

Instead Trump won and since then, nothing seems familiar.

Who knew in 2025 I’d be left without a party. With my OG party, the Democratic one, now so completely far left and unrecognizable. It’s become a cult, skewing reality with socialism and bending the truth to fit their narrative to globalize the intifada? Seriously what the fuck?

Then you have the Republican party, the other cult, with its sickening big beautiful bill who traumatizes the LGBTQ community, women’s rights, cuts aid for children and Medicaid. And the thing that keeps me up at night; the deporting of vulnerable scared souls, who just want to make a better life for their children, work hard, and sleep at night knowing they won’t be murdered like they would from whatever fucked up country they ran from. I can’t!

So, yeah, I’m partyless. I’m just a girl, standing in front of America, asking it to love everyone.

Speaking of everyone, what’s everyone been up to? Let's get into it…

Useless Thoughts

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail. Should have used Prime. The wedding of JEFF BEZOS and LAUREN SANCHEZ is happening right now in Venice, Italy. Leo, Tom Brady, Oprah Winfrey, the Kardashians, Ivana Trump, Astronaut Gayle King, Usher, etc. I guarantee when the priest asks Lauren, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, she’s going to look straight at Leonardo DiCaprio and say, “I do.” There’ll be photo booths, lip injection booths, and Ozempic shots for all. PARTY!

Just watched a TikTok video taken at a NYC bar, packed with a billion young voters screaming in excitement because ZOHRAN MAMDANI had just won the mayoral democratic primary. Jumping up and down before grabbing their Ubers and heading out to the Hamptons! New Yorkers will now ride the bus for free! Free groceries! No more rent, no more cops, no more rules, Yay!! I wonder why Adams, de Blasio, Bloomberg, Guiliani, Dinkins, and Koch didn't think of that? Everything is free! What could go wrong?!

BRAD PITT’S home just got robbed while he’s been out and about promoting his new film. So, if you see some suspicious dudes in silly oversized monochromatic outfits, make a citizen arrest.

Dumb dumb DON LEMMON posted about how funny it is that he agrees with Alex Jones, Marjorie Taylor Green, Candace Owens, Tucker Carlson and Steve Bannon on Iran. Really? Alex Jones? Sandy Hook denier Alex Jones?! Don, while you’re all giddy posting this, just know it would be like posting in the ‘40s that it wasn't on your bingo card that you‘re in agreement with Hitler? Cue the Curb your Enthusiasm soundtrack, because it’s very similar to Larry David’s piece on Bill Maher’s’ dinner with Trump. (read here).

Don, get your ass outside and cover the horrible unjust deportations that are happening right now. What’s wrong with the mainstream media? They can only cover the Middle East? Give it a rest, put your cameras on what is happening right here all over the country. Endless pain! And keep covering it, over and over again, so our messed-up phone brains that can only take 15 seconds of content will grasp the situation. It’s making me crazy, I feel like Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment, "Give my daughter the pain shot NOW!” Show the innocent people being deported now! Now! Now! Now!

And Finally…

Meghan Markle the Duchess of Insufferable, has thrown her crown in the selling cancer ring. Yep! Her “As Ever” brand just dropped wine. How does that song go? 🎼 Surprise surprise. Surprise surprise! 🎼 She prob thought, if Blake Lively can sell poison, so can I! What an accomplishment! Selling dry dead flowers, jelly and poison. Thank God they fled England, because had they stayed, she’d just be visiting hospitals and giving sick and poor children hope, but here in America she can hawk products. Sell sell sell! I don't drink but I do smoke, so hopefully “As Ever” will come out with some cigs! Yay cough!