đ Calling All Kings
TikTok youâve done it again. You tick-tocked the clock away and I lost another week to scrolling, crying, second guessing, asking questions, but mostly wondering what happened to my week and all the things I was going to do and accomplish? Gone! Just gone and all I have to show for it is absolutely nothing. What did you do this week? Watched videos of kids asking their stepdads to adopt them? What else? Just that. Thatâs all. đŹ
Thereâs this TikTok trend where folks put up a sad song and write about how they met their younger self for coffee, and what advice and reassurance theyâd give to their younger self⌠Let's do this!
I met my younger self for coffee. She was late because she was blow drying her insanely thick curly head of hair that takes forever to make straight. I told her I now let mine dry naturally and love the way the curls fall. She said she was made to feel stupid because she didnât know what the Colosseum was, or where it is, while playing Trivial Pursuit with âfriends.â I told her Iâve stood inside the Colosseum and am obsessed with Rome and Iâm literally the opposite of stupid. In fact, Iâm even smarter than the actual President of the United States of America. She said she loves laughing with her friends Sara & Laura and I told her, I just spoke to both of them, because weâre still besties. She said sheâs embarrassed of her body, that sheâs too skinny with big boobs and wishes she could put on some weight. I said trust me; your wish will come true! And also hate to break it to you⌠you never mature. Youâre going to be ridiculous and silly forever.
Okay, I don't like this game. It makes me sad. I made a billion stupid mistakes. My fragile insecure young mind was filled with bullshit. It took years to clear out the clutter, discard the self-hate and replace it with nonjudgemental curiosity and confidence. I'm good. I don't need to live in the past. The only reason I would meet my younger self for coffee now, is to tell her not to download the TikTok app.
Enough about me and younger me. Too much me. There are so many fabulous folks we need to discuss and some real clowns tooâŚ
Useless Thoughts
Calling all Kings! No not you TRUMP. Youâre not a king. I know you really really really want to be, but we donât have royal families here in America. Itâs in the Constitution. Section 9, Clause 8 prohibits the United States from granting titles of nobility. You know it might help if we could get Trump to actually read the Constitution. Or at least understand the meaning of the Declaration of Independence, you know, the part where we were declaring our independence from aâŚKing! The only King we have here in America is the Burger King, and honestly that guyâs a nothing burger! đ
Speaking of nothing burgers, thatâs all Iâm hearing these days. Specifically, about BLAKE LIVELYâS defense, or her offense, or her, proof and receipts, because she doesnât have any. The only thing she has is balls, to show up at the SNL 50th Anniversary show starring Ryan Reynoldsâ ex-wifeâs (Scarlett Johansson) new husband Colin Jost! IMAGINE! Your ex, a sociopath, comes to your husbandâs office party? Weird! The Reynolds are so creepy and totally trigger me. Almost as much as Amy Schumer making the movie, Kinda Pregnant, about a fake pregnancy. Saw it the first time, it was called Baby Mama! And it was so funny. Just saying. đŹ
THE SNL 50TH was so fun. Loved seeing everyone! Opening the show with Sabrina Carpenter and Paul Simon was brilliant. Most of the skits were pretty funny. Some were emotional and, Iâm guessing, ending the show with Paul McCartney singing âGolden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The Endâ was a wink and love to Chris Farley, who did the famous skit with Paul asking him if these lyrics are true: âAnd in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.â
Personally, those lyrics never really made sense to me, but the music, I mean, that man was/is my favorite of all time! Speaking of favorites, I miss Gilda!
JACK SCHLOSSBERG is back on social media. Jack, Caroline Kennedyâs son. JFKâs grandson. He was starting to lose it. That's what happens to folks who are fighting for truth. They appear unhinged, when in reality, they're the real heroes who are brave enough to say it all! Jack was posting nonstop about Trump, Musk and his uncle Robert Kennedy Jr. He was trying to warn people to stay away from RFK Jr, that heâs a bad man and not smart and is not a doctor, not even close, and doesn't have a science background, etc. He was calling out and tagging anyone who would listen, including his cousin Patrick Schwarzenegger. Patrick, whose mom is Maria Shriver, a Kennedy. JFK is Patrickâs great uncle. So, Jack was publicly begging Patrick to call out his uncle Robert Kennedy Jr. too, but he never did. And then Jack went quiet.
I think he needed a social media break. Meanwhile Patrick is starring in Season 3 of White Lotus and all heâs posting is red carpet, premiere White Lotus stuff. These two Kennedy cousins are literally my brain right now. I want to scream from the rooftops about the Government and what the Hell is going on in this world and how insane and unbelievable and crazy it all is, but I also want to discuss TV shows. Itâs a really strange time weâre living in right now, don't you think? It couldn't just be me that feels this way. Like what is going on? Is any of this real? Trump called Zelensky a dictator?!! Zelensky? The guy who is willing to die for democracy and peace?! And then Trump said the cruelest thing of all, he accused Ukraine of starting the war with Russia?! WHAT!?!! We all watched Russia invade Ukraine with our own eyes! Iâm getting worked up!
I need to take a breath. Hang onâŚ
Breathe in, hold it 5 4 3 2 1 and let it out. And letâs remember what theyâre fighting for, which reminds me of a quoteâŚ
Let's build a country of opportunities, where everybody is equal before the law and where the rules of the game are honest and transparent, and the same for everyone.
â Volodymyr Zelensky
And FinallyâŚ
Speaking of White Lotus! Did you watch it? Iâm already fully invested and thereâs only been one episode, so thatâs a good sign. I heard rumblings of an incest storyline, and I hope thatâs not the case because I need some fantasy and entertainment, I donât want to feel nauseous while Iâm watching. That's already happening sitting through the news, so, yeah, please, just keep it fun and not traumatizing. Is that too much to ask for? Oh boy, Iâm scared. My new normal.
Until next time folks!
AndâŚSorry you canât unread this!
I Genuinely Want to Know
Maybe better to be a happy idiot for the time being. Loved Adam Sandlerâs song. You could tell he put a lot of effort into writing it
Youâre not alone. I get scared watching the news these days. Aside from that, Gilda was wearing the exact same Brownie uniform I wore in the 80âs!