Bye CNN. Hello Hallmark.
I have a confession to make…I’ve replaced CNN with Hallmark. I’ve watched more Hallmark Christmas movies in the past week than I have over my entire life. When the small town’s adorable cookie shop owner is serving her soon-to-be-but-doesn't-know-it-yet future husband, she never asks him who he voted for? Discussions of tariffs and the border never come up, ever. Everything is cozy, warm and yummy. A life free of politics. The only red caps are Santa hats! Goodbye Anderson Cooper, hello Lacey Chabert! The snow might be fake, the acting is predictable, the storyline is ridiculous, but you know what? It’s working.
Thinking about the incoming POTUS and his scary goonsquad is pointless. There’s nothing I can do, literally nothing. So, to carry on, worry, complain and panic helps no one and just ruins life and flares up my eczema. Until Trump actually takes office, we know nothing. It’s all speculation, opinion, and not real. So I’m going to enjoy now, sing, skip, bake cookies, shop, walk around like a useless idiot humming Holiday songs while waving to strangers and continue to watch Hallmark movies where they wrap the top of the box separate from the bottom, so when they open their presents, there’s no wrapping paper being ripped off, you just lift the lid off and ta-da your present with no mess. Just like their movies, no mess, no stress!
But let's be honest, there’s so much mess out there. Let's discuss….…
Useless Thoughts
Speaking of mess, I’m going to say this once and never discuss it again. Of course, BIDEN had to pardon his son HUNTER. I don't care if he said he wouldn't. Hunter grew up surrounded by trauma! His mother and sister died shockingly when he was little. Suddenly being raised by a single dad with his brother, who too died years later. You think he was going to let his only living son rot in jail? It’s not like he killed anyone. He was a crackhead who cheated on his taxes. Give me a break! Proud of Joe for doing the right thing. Did he lie? Maybe? They all lie. Look at Trump, he’s such a liar his pants are permanently on fire! I want a POTUS who puts their kids first before anything else. Hell yeah, you pardon your son!
Daily Mail won’t stop gaslighting me with their headlines. Just look at today’s; “AOC Eyes Powerful Democratic Role as Speculation Swirls She Will Run for President in 2028.” Daily Mail stop trying to make AOC happen. It’s never going to happen. 🤮 (It better f*cking not).
Unfortunately, the Daily Mail is not the only gaslighter. The once most reputable newspaper of the century, The New York Times is just as bad. It’s definitely more subtle than the trashy Daily Mail, but it's basically the same, just with smarter words. And not just with news, war and politics, they do it with everything, even the most minute story. Just look at this stupid headline (remember, very subtle) but glaring to me…
What the hell does that even mean? Oh the fear, there’s only one left. He’s the last. Hardly! I can name a bunch of celebs that are in it for the work and not the paparazzi. Stop gaslighting me! Which reminds me of a quote…
The true manipulator never has a reputation for manipulating.
— Martin Amis
I know I just said two seconds ago I was never again going to discuss Hunter being pardoned but I’m still pissed! When The New York Times and their snowflake editors put five different articles on their front page condemning Biden for pardon?! Are you fucking kidding me?! This is exactly why we lost the election. Grow some balls! Enough of this bullshit! So I cancelled my subscription, and changed it to just games.
Can't live without “Wordle” and “Connections.” I mean… 🤪
Speaking of word games, Wheel of Fortune’s VANNA WHITE’S SON NIKKO, who was just revealed in a video his mom posted of them cooking at home, has become the internet's new Heartthrob! And the best part, he has a regular job. He’s a realtor and not an influencer.
Pat, I’ll have an ‘S’…I’lll have a ‘T’…I’d like to buy a vowel, a ‘U’…and a ‘D!’ I’d like to solve the puzzle; STUD 🔥
Another celeb spawn, GWYNETH PALTROW & CHRIS MARTIN’S DAUGHTER APPLE has been all over the news for attending an eye-rolling Debutante Ball in Paris. She wore a Valentino dress that took 750 hours to make. Yes, you read that correctly. Some poor fool spent their days working on a dress for a thankless spoiled kid famous for nothing. I can just imagine the seamstress sitting around the table just shooting the shit;
“I’m making a dress for the Queen of Spain, Letizia Oritz Rocasolano.”
“I’m making a dress for the Prime Minister of Denmark, Mette Frederiksen.”
“I’m making a dress for Katherine the Princess of Wales.”
“I’m making a dress for the President of Greece, Katerina Sakellaropoulou.”
“How about you Susie? Whose dress are your fingers bleeding from working on?”
“Apple Martin.” 😬
Speaking of mind numbing, CHERYL HINES and her daughter started a face cream and candles company, Hines+Young. Oh Joy, just what the world needs…another celeb brand. But wait, this one is plastic free. You know what else is plastic free… not selling anything, not making another useless pointless product that no one needs. In her latest Instagram post hawking her bullshit, Robert Kennedy Jr. was in the background taking a shower! I can't with them. Look at me! Look at us! I ignore his cheating and bear eating and sell cream! Aren't we so fun?! 🙈
In Groundhog Day News
Nicole Kidman still talking about orgasms read here
Angelia Jolie still keeping Brad from the kids read here
Meghan Markle still stepping out sans Harry read here
Ariana Grande still crying during Wicked interviews watch here
And Finally…
A couple of standup specials you might want to check out…
Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All on Netflix watch the trailer
I watched it and it’s hysterical. I’ve been a true fan since the beginning of his career, when he made a name for himself by doing all the Roasts specials. But if you're not familiar with his comedy, you need to know it's very dark. Very! It’s really all sarcasm, and you think the joke is going to land in one spot but instead it always ends up somewhere completely unexpected. Shocking sometimes, but it's not real, remember he’s just joking… because he’s a comedian.
Jamie Foxx: What Happened Was on Netflix watch the trailer
I’ll be curious to see this one. Apparently he’ll be discussing how he got sick, why he got sick? Was Diddy involved? I’ve never seen his standup. I know he’s super funny from his time on Living Color and he’s a fantastic actor, he won an Oscar for his portrayal of Ray Charles in Ray, so I’m assuming this is gonna be really good and interesting! Can’t wait!
Until next time folks! Check out my new post on Instagram later today and please send my newsletter to all your friends and family and tell them to subscribe!!
And…Sorry you can’t unread this! 🤪
