Gisele's Big Cotton Underpants
I stubbed my toe! Really hard! Saw stars! In three seconds my entire foot turned purple! It took over my entire life, Everything was about my LEFT foot. Until it wasn't. You know when you stub your toe and your foot is throbbing and you’re so paranoid that you’re going to bang it again and just the thought of that pain takes your breath away, so you’re extremely careful with each step… and then the most insane thing happened? I stubbed my RIGHT foot. No lie. Saw stars again and my right foot immediately turned purple and now it looks like I’m wearing a pair of purple socks. Hobbling along, walking like an old crazy person, moaning with each step. And there's nothing medically to do about smashed toes, except complain. Complaining and whining became my personality for the past five days. Even my dogs were not making eye contact with me for fear of hearing yet again about my toes! Did you know dogs could eye roll? Mine can and did! I swear they’d look at each other like, “I can't with her!”
Ouch! What else can I complain about? Let's see….
Useless Thoughts
The VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW is back! And I don't remember asking for it to return. In the past this was a hot ticket show. The most brilliant and beautiful supermodels walked the runway, A-list celebs filled the audience, and performers like Destiny’s Child sang during the show. Cut to Tuesday…All the Real Housewives of shitsville filled the audience, questionable attractive nepo baby models, Kate Moss’s short daughter, the horrible Hadid sisters with their plastic surgery faces prancing down the runway showing off their new heads, obese models, anorexic models, and old models. The only thing missing was a Columbia University student in a bikini, mask and keffiyeh.🤮 Watch the show here.
Disaster! So woke. So dumb. Seriously, who is even wearing this crap? Which reminds me of a quote from a real supermodel, Gisele Bundchen….
❝
I am a huge fan of big cotton underpants; they're comfortable. I wear them every day.
- Gisele Bündchen
Yes! Same! I’ll take it one step further. I live in my husband's boxers.😬
Speaking of disasters… TRUMP’S PENNSYLVANIA TOWN HALL where folks fainted and he played music for 40 minutes straight off his iPad. This is real. He literally stood there for over half an hour swaying and waving his jazz hands to the music? While this crazy was happening, Kamala was on Fox news answering questions about America. With real answers. Not once did she start dancing, or claiming Haitians are eating cats & dogs, or terrorizing Americans with jail for disagreeing with her, or bullying and threatening women to take away their rights. So how are they neck and neck in the polls? The thought of these creepy jazz hands being in the White House again?! How are we here?! HOW IS THIS OUR REALITY? I get wanting to stick with your party. I really do, but just this one time if you could vote Democrat! Please! Begging!
He’s insane!
ALEX COOPER spoke about a famous male actor for “giving nothing” during a scrapped Call Her Daddy interview. It happens. How bad can an interview really be? It's just questions and answers? Trust me it can be like pulling teeth. It’s harder than you’d imagine. Think about it, what question would you ask a celeb that you really need to know the answer to? What’s your morning routine? Zzz. Who are you voting for? Zzz. Seriously there is nothing that anyone needs to know about anyone if you think about it realistically. I mean, who really cares.
I once interviewed KRIS JENNER. She was super nice, but ultimately, I couldn’t care less what she had to say about anything. And you just run out of questions, and you have to fill the time with something. I remember passing my assistant, who was at her desk, wearing headphones, transcribing my Kris interview, and she was hollering with laughter. I asked, what’s so funny? With tears rolling down her face she said, you’ve told Kris Jenner she’s so beautiful 50 times?! I know! 😬 I didn't know what else to say? So, compliments it is! I think I once told Amy Schumer she could be a model?! 😬 You just fill their egos while asking what they eat for breakfast. Fascinating! So, do you add granola to your yogurt or sprinkle it with fruit? 🤪
Beautiful!
TRADER JOE’S SOLD OUT BAGS are finally back in stock. With comatose confused folks waiting in lines around the block to purchase. This here is a study on how dumb Americans are. A Trader Joe's bag gets some random media attention, and then everyone starts going crazy trying to find them. These $3.99 bags start showing up on eBay for $150 and folks are buying them. Why? Because we all want what we can’t have…Trader Joe’s bags. 🥴
Trader Joe’s mini tote bags here.
ALI WONG’S new standup special, Single Lady on Netflix did not disappoint. She is so friggin funny! In her past specials she was very pregnant while performing and spoke about how all she wanted to do was cheat on her husband. Welp, now she’s divorced (not surprised) and single and the whole set is about dating and falling in love with Bill Hader. I recommend it and the older ones too. Her angry face and approach is hysterical! Love her! 🥰
Watch Single Lady here.
And finally…
I just watched a Halloween Hallmark movie… the premise; a single woman thriving in her picture perfect home town bumps into a successful businessman randomly there for the weekend, who falls in love with her and the small town. The end.
It was literally a gift. The news is so insane. Hurricanes, war, guns, the election. It’s just too much! As cheesy and unclever as every second of this Hallmark movie was, it was exactly what my brain needed. Calm and predictable. Extra cheese please!
Hallmark Channel’s “Countdown to Christmas!” starts today, October 18th. Tune in for all holiday movies (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas 24/7).
About to start Hulu’s Rivals, described as a “soapy, sexy deliciously decadent reminder of television's glory days,” comparing it to Dynasty and Dallas. The British import, a sprawling adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s mega-popular romance novel. All set in the 80s! YES!!!!! BRING IT! I’ll watch and let you know! Watch the Rivals trailer.
Started the Apple TV+ limited series Disclaimer; the Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Sacha Baron Cohen show on Apple and it’s really good. I’m not obsessed or anything, but I appreciate anything new that keeps me coming back for more. Cate Blanchett as a celeb has gotten on my last nerve, but Cate Blanchett the actress is great, and always solid! Watch the Disclaimer trailer.
Woman of the Hour; Netflix thriller/mystery movie out today. Starring and directed by Anna Kendrick; In 1970’s Los Angeles, as a wave of murders makes headlines, an aspiring actress and a serial killer cross paths during an episode of a dating show… The Dating Game! I’m scared! 😳
Watch the Woman of the Hour trailer.
Until next time folks! Check out my new post on Instagram later today and please send my newsletter to all your peeps and tell them to follow!
And…Sorry you can’t unread this! 🤪
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