I don’t cook. My husband does all the cooking. He makes delicious dinners every night. I fantasize about cooking all the time. I save endless recipes on Instagram and look through cookbooks and dog ear the pages for recipes I’ll never make, except homemade salad dressing. I’m obsessed with salads and vinaigrettes. My mouth waters just writing the word ‘vinaigrette.’ Yumm, the sour of the vinegar, so delicious.

Click here for Nora Ephron’s famous vinaigrette recipe (the first one I ever tried making myself).

Sometimes I bake. I’m pretty good at it. I’m good at emptying the box, adding the egg and stick of butter. 😬 But last night I actually cooked dinner. Using leftover spaghetti, I added mushrooms, olive oil and parmesan and threw it all in a pan. How hard can it be? Practically the same as Duncan Hines, right? You just mix it. The pan was hot, it smelled delish, just let me add some lemon juice and…fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! The flames touching the ceiling. Suddenly I’m a hibachi chef. My husband hollering from the other room, “What the hell!!!” I said nothing. I didn't blink, scream. In fact I didn’t even make a sound. I turned off the heat and everything calmed down.

It was in that moment that it occurred to me, maybe I’m dead inside? The world, the news, the country, so insane, so yuck, I’ve just become numb to it all. Holy Shit, maybe this is why I’m suddenly engrossed in every Hallmark movie with no storyline, no humor, no plot… because I’m dead. But I know what you all want me to discuss, so let's just get to it, Luigi…

Useless Thoughts

Nothing makes newscasters, newspapers, websites, tiktok salivate more than talking about Trump, that is, until Luigi. He literally wiped Trump off the lips of every single person. Again, just another example of who we are as a nation. What makes America tick. CRAZY talk. If I were a writer for Saturday Night Live, I’d be working on my skit about a bunch of teenage girls having a sleepover fighting over who loves LUIGI the most. Honestly, I just find the entire story really sad from every angle. No matter which way you look at the story, it's all just heartbreaking for everyone involved. And yes, even Luigi.😞

But just as sad is the fact that our future POTUS is selling not just sneakers made in China (I can't) but also cologne & perfume. This is his latest ad for his bottles of piss…and yes, this is real!

Jill Biden smiled at Trump and was respectful. Breaking news to all the men out there… Just because a woman is nice to you doesn't mean they want to sleep with you. It just means they’re nice. Jeez Louise, a baby could understand this. Now that I think about it, if a guy is nice to you it probably means he wants to sleep with you. Even if he’s not nice to you, he still prob wants to sleep with you. Men! They’re so ridiculous! But ladies, I’m not letting you off the hook here either. Just look at the reaction to Luigi?? It’s all nuts. Imagine if Luigi looked like Steve Bannon? Would you feel the same? What’s next? Luigi the Musical?🕺

Not all hope is lost, sometimes the good guy does win in the end. Like nice lil Jewish boy BENNY BLANCO who just got engaged to precious SELENA GOMEZ. Huge respect for Selena for choosing love and kindness over some sexy bad boy! Their babies are going to be cuter than puppies! Congratulations! Love them! ❤️ Which reminds me of a quote…

Life is strange. Every so often a good man wins.

— Frank Dane

While one couple gets engaged another’s engagement falls apart. DON DUMB DUMB JR. and KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE have split. What do you do when you want your ex to just go away? You have your Daddy ship her off to Greece. Kimmy, Trump’s choice for Ambassador to Greece. Meanwhile Greece is like, what did we ever do to you? To quote Nancy Kerrigan, “Why? Why?”

Speaking of bad boys, JAYZ showed up on the red carpet with BEYONCE, and Blue Ivy, their 12-year old daughter wearing a gold ball gown, with her boobs pushed all up! Shame on me for talking about a child’s dress. Wrong! OBVIOUSLY if you wear an insane gold ball gown, you WANT people to notice. You WANT people to discuss. So let's do it! Why was this child wearing this dress? I don't know? I don't care, but I’m going to notice it and make a face. That’s the point right? Maybe I’m wrong and the dress screams, DON'T NOTICE ME!

And while we’re on the topic of the Z family, what’s with Beyonce? When she’s not singing and dancing her ass off, and is just walking the red carpet how come she never speaks? What’s going on in her head? She seems very stepford wifey? Blank. Has she ever said anything funny? Is she silly? What’s going on in there? Does anyone know? Raise your hand if you know if Beyonce has a personality!! 🤪

And Finally…

The Golden Globe nominations are out…. And I have seen NONE of the films, in fact, I haven't even heard of most of them. This is a first for me. Now with different streaming platforms, I don't know what’s where, or is the movie in the theater? Lol the theater! Is that even a thing anymore? I used to live for the Golden Globes and made sure to see every film! The Golden Globes is different from all the other award shows. It’s a combination of TV and Movies, something for everyone. Instead of rows of seats, the audience and nominees sit at tables, being fed food and DRINKS. Lots of drinks. By the time someone won, they’d be wasted giving their acceptance speech. It was dangerous. (Not dangerous like the Oscars, where you might get punched in the head) But dangerous with words, with jokes. You never knew what was going to be said? Ricky Gervais would host and ROAST the nominees. And then the world woke up. Woke culture took over, You couldn't make fun of anyone. No more jokes. Everyone became too worried of offending millionaire movie stars draped in jewels. ZZZZ🥱

But good news. I think we’re back to roasting! Nicki Glazer will be hosting, and she is a Queen Roaster! Watch her here roasting the goat, Tom Brady.

Here’s the list of this years nominees…

BEST MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA

A COMPLETE UNKNOWN- And Completely unknown to me. Wait, I just googled, it’s the Bob Dylan movie.
CONCLAVE - Never heard of it
DUNE: PART TWO - Didn't know there was a Dune one
NICKEL BOYS - No clue
SEPTEMBER 5 - I got nothing

BEST MOTION PICTURE – MUSICAL OR COMEDY

ANORA - The only Nora I know is Ephron
CHALLENGERS - Nada
EMILIA PÉREZ - Yes I’ve heard of this and believe its in Spanish and stars precious lil Selena Gomez
A REAL PAIN - Says my body every morning when getting out of bed
THE SUBSTANCE - Nope, wait, yes, it’s that scary Demi Moore movie
WICKED - Yes, I know about this one, I mean I do live on planet earth

There’s still time to watch all these movies. The Golden Globes airs on January 5, 2025.

Until next time folks! Check out my new post on Instagram later today and please send my newsletter to all your friends and family and tell them to subscribe!!

And…Sorry you can’t unread this! 🤪

😎 Engagements and Vinaigrettes