About Last Night
Driving through the neighborhood I noticed so many Halloween decorations and orange lights, more than ever before. Every house is ready, in full force to celebrate Halloween, like a new movement. I wondered why? In the past we’d get a couple of pumpkins and put them on our front steps, focusing more on the kids' costumes than our home. And then it came to me… Folks are desperate for fun, for happiness, for holiday spirit. With the election literally around the corner, and the breaking news every second of something horrible Trump has said, done or thought, it makes you question, am I insane? When did discussing golfer Arnold Palmer’s big dick become the norm at a political rally? (Trump’s YMCA theme song is now starting to make sense) When did praising Hitler seem like a thing some people do? This isn’t normal! Nothing about Trump is normal. No, he’s not just weird, he’s crazy, and he doesn’t hide it, he screams it. Like the witch in the Wizard of Oz, he tells you exactly what he’s going to do…
Nothing scares me more than a haunted house, creepy organ Halloween music, and wait, that’s not true, Trump in the White House…again 😱 scares me more than anything ever in the history of ever! Look I want to be funny in this newsletter, I really do, but it’s hard when all I feel like doing is crying. Hang on. I’ll try. Let’s see, write something funny about Hitler… hmm, yeah, no, I got nothing. So now what? VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!
So much scary out there! What else, let's see….
Useless Thoughts
ELON MUSK is the new ‘My Pillow Guy’ Mike Lindell. Trump replaced one loser boyfriend for a much more sinister one. The difference is poor Mike actually believes what he’s saying. Elon knows better. He’s just bored, it's a game to him. Mike loved Trump so much that he spent all his money supporting his conspiracy theories. He’s now broke. Almost as broke and broken as Guiliani, who just lost everything for knowingly pushing a lie.
OMG he’s such a loser!
BREAKING NEWS! JENNIFER LAWRENCE is pregnant. Blah blah boring. The real breaking news; she got bangs! Huge! Everyone knows bangs is a great idea for just that blink of a second you decide to get them. After that, you’re on your own, the bangs are on their own trying to stick together on your forehead, while going in different directions! Bangs are like Beatlejuice! Once you say it, and they appear, you’re f*cked! Good luck with that, and congrats on the Bebe!
NICOLE KIDMAN had to pause while filming Babygirl sex scenes, because she didn't want to “orgasm” anymore. Good! I don't want to have to watch you “orgasm” in films anymore. It’s enough! Sex Scenes in movies are so ridiculous. We all know they're fake, so it just takes you out of the movie and you start thinking, “oh look a fake sex scene” or “Oh look this is Nicole’s fake orgasm face” So dumb! Kissing scenes too. The smacking sounds, ugh, chills, so awful.🙉
Which reminds me of a quote by the always funny Joan Rivers…
❝
I said to my husband last night, “Why don't you call out my name while we're making love?” And he said, “I don't want to wake you up.”
- Joan Rivers
MEGHAN MARKLE is threatening a tell all! Ahhhhhh! Run for the hills! Run everyone run! Make it stop! Make her stop! I’d rather watch Nicole Kidman fake orgasm for 24 hours straight than know Meg’s keeping her personal memoir as a weapon in her back pocket for revenge if needed. Revenge? Against who? The Royal Family? King Charles with cancer? Princess Kate with cancer? She is truly insufferable! This can't happen! What can I do to stop this….Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Uh oh!
ROB LOWE admits he briefly had a fling with DEMI MOORE in the 80s! This just woke me the f*ck up! I thought I was dead inside. The way the world is now, there’s nothing you could tell me to make me feel alive! I was wrong! THIS! This stupid silly little scoop was the medicine I’ve been craving. Celeb secret hook ups! Yes! Reveal them all! Now! I order EVERY celeb to post on their instagram their secret hookup!
Let's👏 do👏 this!👏
Swoon! I love this scene!
Watched the ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME Induction Ceremony and it was long, like a 🎼 long and winding road 🎼 but it was worth it! The talent just kept coming! They honored Cher, Peter Frampton, Dave Matthews, Mary J. Blige, OZZY, Foreigner, Jimmy Buffet, Kool and the Gang, and so many more. Again, it's very very long, and you might have to quit your job to watch the whole thing, but it’s amazing! So much talent in every corner, except for Dua Lipa. Turns out she’s tone deaf and not very good! That’s right, I said it. She looks incredible. Breathtaking! Beautiful! But her voice sucks!
Watch the full Foreigner segment
Watch clips of other inductees
And finally…
Besides voting early, I’ll be watching the World Series. Yankees versus the Dodgers. I mean NY & LA?! The celeb sightings will be off the charts! Watch it starting tonight @ 8pm on FOX. And, this is what I’ll also be checking out this weekend and watching;
We Live in Time; the new Andrew Garfield & Florence Pugh film out today in theaters; brought together by a surprise encounter that changes their lives as they embark on a path challenged by the limits of time. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, (which I don’t blame you) you’ve probably seen Andrew promoting this film everywhere from late night talk shows to Sesame Street. In fact, his interview with Elmo has gone viral and you might want to check it out for a sweet quiet cry.
Watch the trailer
The World’s First Podcast; The funny Foster sisters Erin and Sara, and the creators of the TV show Nobody Wants This, just dropped the hot rabbi, Adam Brody, their newest guest on their podcast. If you're looking for fun, silly and Adam 🔥 listen here.
Road Diary: Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Fri. Oct 25, Hulu
Bruce Springsteen and “The E Street Band” offer an in-depth look at the creation of their live performances, including footage of band rehearsals, backstage moments, rare archival clips, and personal reflections. BRUUUUUUCE!
Watch the trailer
Also worth checking out over the next week!
Before, Fri. Oct 25, Apple TV+
A drama series starring Billy Crystal, Judith Light, and Rosie Perez.
Watch the trailer
Don’t Move, Fri. Oct 25, Netflix
A horror/thriller movie produced by Sam Raimi.
Watch the trailer
Anora, in theaters now
Mikey Madison, who’s appeared in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Better Things (great series on Hulu), and Scream, apparently gives a “breakout/star-making” performance in the lead role.
Watch the trailer
Martha, Wed. Oct 30, Netflix
The “definitive” documentary of Martha Stewart, as told by the icon herself, recounting her modeling days, her Wall Street era, and her five-month pit stop at a federal prison. Still in shock she went to prison! How crazy!
Watch the trailer
Until next time folks! Check out my new post on Instagram later today and please send my newsletter to all your peeps and tell them to follow!
And…Sorry you can’t unread this! 🤪
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